Sunday, February 5, 2012

Dogs Bites Dog: Sic her!


The latest word from our local village chat room, aka boulangerie-épicerie: 

Madame T's dogs attacked and wounded the baker's dog, 
after which
the Mayor, 
who witnessed the attack, 
knocked on Madame T's door to complain, 
only to hear Madame T reply that he could stick his opinion là où tu penses...
where the sun doesn't shine. 

Erreur, ma pauvre! The gossip — in this case true — has created a chain reaction unleashing a stream of heretofore undisclosed (openly) incidents with the infamous new-comer Madame T.

1. "She takes advantage of everyone." Clearly lacking in details.
2. "When the temperature dips, she doesn't bother to walk her dogs, just lets them out the door to do as they wish, where they wish." Note speaking to Madame's T's mentality: her house is smack in front of La Mairie.
3. "She scammed the butcher." Unforgivable. Our butcher is one of the kindest, most trusting and generous souls in the world. If you forget your checkbook or don't have enough cash on you, he tells you not to worry about it, hands you the bill and trusts you to pay him the next time he passes through the village. 
4. "When she walks her dogs, she lets them poop right in front of private residences." She is reported to have said to one outraged villager, "It's no big deal; the poop dries out." That makes it OK?
5. "One of her dogs bit me when I made a delivery to her house." This supposedly happened months ago but is only now being told? Hmm...
6. "She borrowed a liter of milk from X and never paid it back." In itself insignificant since a liter of milk costs under 1 euro, nevertheless fuel for a building fire.
7. "She has her own car but let's Madame R. take her into the city every market day."See criticism #5. Clearly Madame R's concern.

etcetera, etcetera, etcetera

Incidentals: Madame T's dogs were off-leash and unaccompanied when the attack occurred. The baker's dog was on-leash and accompanied. The baker's son was also attacked as he rode by Madame's T's house on his bike; there is no other way into the village. It is illegal to let your dog(s) run free in this village. It is a well-known and accepted practice to walk your dogs along a road leading out of the village so their crottes won't pollute the village environment. Yes, Madame T has been informed.

I have my own issues with Madame T, not to be shared here because so much less amusing then those above. One lingering question however: Why would a single woman in her 70s settle into a tiny, remote village — where she knows absolutely no one — and immediately alienate her fellow citizens? It's tough enough, if not impossible, to break into an established French circle. Perhaps she's doing research for a book? Or maybe she's a witch? Alliteration, folks, alliteration.